I apologize for my extended absence, but my health has returned! :) Also, I gave a speech yesterday about myself, which went okay, but I'm still working on keeping myself calm during them. So far not much news to share with you guys though... So this is gonna be a pretty short post. Well I will report back when I have more news! Happy blogging all. :)

Blog update!!

I am happy to announce three things. 

1. Today is my birthday!!! I'm a whole two decades old today! :D

2. I have been given an award, called the butterfly award, by Tricia at papercages. Apparently  it is an award for the coolest blogs she knows, which is quite a compliment! :) Thanks. 

3. I have new readers!! :D Yayyyy I  have gotten a few emails and comments on my blog, which only inspires me to write more right away!!! 

I am however, stuck in bed with a cold, and so, although I apologize for my lapse in posts, and will continue as soon as my health improves. Thanks for your patience!! :)

My First Speech

I had to give a speech today. I had to get up in front of forty people I don't know, and talk about what success means to me. It was an impromptu speech, which means you pull a topic out of a hat, think about it for a minute, then get up and speak about it for a maximum of one minute... Sounds easy right? Not so much. I can get up in front of a thousand people in a crowded airport and sing any song you ask me to with no problems, but ask me to speak in front of anyone I don't know and I start shaking and stuttering like a moron.

I have already dropped this class twice, and since it's a requirement to graduate, my advisor made me sign up for it, and won't let me drop it anymore until I pass it. Sadist.

Thankfully, no one laughed at me and I kept my stuttering to a minimum (I think), and at the end of my torture session, surprisingly, everyone clapped. 

And in the interest of growing and becoming a better person, I was inspired to challenge myself to overcome my fear of public speaking, along with my stutter, by the time end of this semester. I will post updates on my blog and re-read this post at the end of the semester, and hopefully, I will have achieved my goal, or at least come close. 

And since I know you love a challenge just as much as I do, I am challenging my readers as well. I challenge you to overcome a fear that you have had for a long time, and as a result, become a better person. Keep me posted, I'll do the same.

Lonely or just alone?

I think loneliness is the worst part about being alone. Typically, i like my alone time, i get to relax with my thoughts and a good book and have my down time before work or after a long day. But on nights like tonight, when all I did was work all day, and there is no one to come home to, it hits me, and i realize that maybe being alone all the time isn't the best idea. I don't like being in big crowds or parties because I get nervous around all the people, and all the people my age are really interested in drinking and smoking and generally acting like idiots. I'm just not interested in all of that, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone to relax on the couch with after work or something. 

I guess this is what happens when I watch chick-flicks at midnight. 

Chivalry? Dead?

When I get myself into a relationship with someone, there are hundreds of qualities that attract me to that person, but there is really only a few things that will cause me to leave and never look back. One major thing that  will get a man kicked out of my life really quickly is inconsideration. If you make plans with me, keep them. Period. If something really came up, at least give me the courtesy of a call. Even a text message will do. Just let me know. Don't let me wait around for six hours wondering what kind of arrogant jackass would care so little for me that it wouldn't even cross his mind to let me know he's not coming. 

I'm a simple girl, I want just a few things from a guy. Respect, courtesy, and loyalty. I refuse to believe that chivalry really is dead. With over six billion men in the world, how can it be that not one of the thousands that I come across here at college have any  idea what courtesy and respect are. When I was in high school, it was well understood that if my date didn't knock on the door, call my parents Sir and Ma'am, and open doors for a lady, I was not going out with him. I'm not saying I expect all those things from a guy. But damn, how do guys even get dates anymore when they treat women like dirt? How can it be that a guy can be so inconsiderate, and she will still go out with him in the future? I'm just as guilty of this as most of us girls are, because chances are, I'll give him another chance. And hundreds more. Even if he doesn't deserve it.

Guys: Send a text. It takes two seconds to say "something came up, ttyl". Then we wouldn't be sitting around waiting, looking like dumbasses waiting on you. And our feelings wouldn't be hurt, saving you the hassle of a big argument with a million tears. 

Sorry if this is not the usual exceptional example of my writing abilities, I'm kind of venting. But you get the point anyway. Guys, get a clue. Girls, don't put up with that crap. 

Lucky (update on Feeding Frisco)

I made the mistake of letting Frisco digest some of last night's meal before feeding him the second rat. I woke up early this morning to feed Frisco a nice yummy breakfast, dropped the innocent little rat in Frisco's cage, closed the lid and let him at it. After five minutes of the usual horrific feeding process described yesterday, I see the little rat jumping up and down in glee for having escaped the jaws of my obviously not-so-hungry snake. I of course have never seen this happen before... Typically Frisco will not eat white rats, but will at least kill it, making disposal far easier, if less pleasant, for me.

Apparently Frisco was not in such a giving mood today. So after ten minutes of negotiating, begging, and yelling at Frisco to just do me a favor, eat the rat and be done with it, I was forced to try to rescue the obnixiously victorious little rat from my failure-of-a-snake's cage. Not such an easy task. I am smart enough to know that when a rat and a snake are in close proximity, one does not stick a hand insde said proximity, because since snakes don't have the greatest of eysight, if they choose to strike the rat, they may miss said rat, and extracting oneself from a hungry snake's grasp is extremely difficult, and can be extremely painful. So I bravely grabbed a section of today's newspaper, and tried to grab the stupid little rat while keeping an eye out for Frisco just in case he decided he was hungry. After a good twenty minutes of once again negotiating, begging, and yelling at the rat to get away from the snake and closer to my hand, I was back where I started. Obviously the little rat didn't trust me, and I don't blame it. After all, I did drop it in a cage-o-death with a seemingly very hungry snake. I finally pulled Frisco out of the cage, set him in the bathtub (since he was covered in rat-poo i was not putting him anywhere else), dropped a gift bag in the cage and let the little rat jump in it, quickly sealing the top of it and pulling him to safety, then proceeded to clean out Frisco's cage, give Frisco a bath (not my favorite thing to do), and figure out what to do with the arrogant little rat. 

Now I have a pet snake and a little rat named Lucky, that I have no idea what to do with. I feel bad setting him off in the wild only to be eaten by a stray cat or a different hungry snake, and now I have something of an emotional bond with the little guy, especially now that I've named him. I guess I'll have to get him a little cage and some toys or something. Does anybody even know how to take care of a rat? I mean seriously, do they even do anything? What do they eat? Should I set it free? Keep it as a pet? Give it away? Someone please direct me here, I am completely torn between keeping him safe and warm in my little home, and setting him free to the stray cats and other hungry snakes.

As for Frisco, we are not on speaking terms.

Feeding Frisco

I have a pet snake named Frisco. He's been with me for about ten years, and to this day, feeding him is the saddest thing I ever do. He has to eat rats, and only live ones. I completely understand his need for nourishment and all, but there's something about dropping a live rat in his cage that is somehow extremely depressing to me. I mean, here is this innocent little rat at the pet store, minding his own business, hanging out with his other rat-buddies, and here I come all high and mighty like I'm God or something, plop him in a little box, cart him home, and proceed to toss him in a locked cage with a hungry snake. How cruel is that? Typically, it goes quickly- hungry snake nabs rat, rat squeals, hungry snake squeezes tighter, rat dies. But today, this little rat was fighting for all it was worth, wriggling as hard as he could to escape its demise, at one point even resorted to gnawing on Frisco's side, squealing as loud as possible, and as soon as I thought it was over, he started squealing again. This went on for twenty agonizing minutes. 

I hate watching this grotesque exhibit of the circle of life, but I fear for Frisco's health, and I want to know if the rats ever bite him, so I know to watch the area for infection. 

I cried like a little baby today during this horrific show. Never in the ten years that Frisco has been in my life, has it ever taken more than five minutes for the rat to die. After ten minutes of this torture I wanted to pull the little rat out and set him free, but of course if I had done that my lovely darling Frisco would have eaten one of my fingers for lunch instead. One does not take food from a hungry snake's mouth. At least, a smart one doesn't. 

So for twenty minutes of torture I watched in sadness, through running mascara and big crocodile tears, praying that the poor little rat would give in, and knowing he wouldn't. Finally, after two hours, it was over, the sweet little rat was overtaken by my big, mean, heartless snake, and Frisco finished devouring his dinner and was now wiping his mouth and staring at me as if he just finished eating a piece of candy and wanted more. 

I love Frisco very dearly, and of course want him to be well fed and taken care of, in a home with lots of love and a good heat lamp, however, I am sad for the little rat, and am hoping and praying that the next time I have to feed Frisco, someone else will do it.