Bummed

First off, let me say that I am not typically a negative or pessimistic person, but lately I'm having a lapse in positive attitude. For starters, I was really excited for my spring break, because I recently re-connected with a friend from high school, who I hadn't spoken to in about two years. We planned to spend three days hanging out and going to the beach, and generally just being lazy, fun loving young people. He was due to arrive Monday afternoon (today). But Friday, he called me around 6:30 pm, and informed me that his house had been broken into, and he was robbed of quite a bit of money, along with some personal things. Of course this meant he could not make it to our trip. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be in his position, and I don't blame him at all for not being able to make it, but I can't help being bummed about it. I was so looking forward to seeing him again, as well as a much- needed vacation for me. I was talking to a friend about it that night, and the next day he suggested we go to Disney world for a day or two. I of course said yes, Disney IS my favorite place in the world after all. So I got way excited, and my friend was going to come over tonight, and stay the night so we could go early tomorrow. An hour before he was suppose to leave his house, he informs me  that he has food poisoning, and can't make it.

Now, I'm really upset, because I was so looking forward to the trip. It seems that every time I make plans, and get really excited about something, it falls through. This isn't the first time this has happened. It really happens almost every time I make plans, even since I was a little girl. I'm worried about my friend of course because he's sick and I'm sure he feels horrid. But I'm still really disappointed, and let down. Maybe I'm selfish, or a bad person, but I really wonder why it is that this keeps happening? Other people don't seem to have this problem. Maybe it's Karma for all the bad things I've done in my life. Whatever the reason, I'm bummed.

Happy Spring break everybody.

Loss

This is the story of a man's addiction, and his mother's pain.

For the past ten years, following an injury of some kind, a man has been addicted to prescription drugs. This of course is a mother's worst fear, because of how extremely difficult it is to overcome. They battled the disease together, the nights she lay awake in terror, hoping and praying he was safe, he, at times unable to resist the urge to get high, not seeing the pain he caused his mother and sister. 

Recently, the mother had moved out of state, and a few months later he was arrested. After spending two weeks in jail, he made bail, and walked from the jail to a clinic, where he knew of a twisted doctor, who would give him some of the pills he desperately craved. The doctor prescribed him Oxycotten, Zanex, and Soma. He then walked to a nearby hotel, where he injected the medicine in his arms. His mother spent another evening in agony, worrying and praying that he was safe, and would call. By the next morning, when he hadn't called, she sent a friend to find him. She stayed on the phone as he banged on the door, and finally called the police. She was on the phone when they broke down the door, and when they saw him, slumped over the desk, head in his palm, looking out the window, smiling. 

There are no words to describe a mother's love for her baby boy. She and her daughter had gone to the morgue that day to say goodbye to him. She told of his little hands, his dimples, the little hairs on his arm as she held his hand and said goodbye. She was beside herself when she recalled the ice cold skin, how his bones were stuck in the position he was in when he died, hunched over and stiff as a board.

After she retold her story, she broke down, sobbing for her son, simply repeating over and over "I couldn't save my baby."

I am no stranger to addiction, my father is a recovering alcoholic, a family friend recently died of a cocaine overdose, but there is one thing I know; no one can ever understand or even relate to a mother's love, and when a mother loses her baby, there is nothing in the world that can comfort her. My heart aches for this mother, I pray for her, I cry for her, and I wish no other mother ever has to feel that pain. 

If there is one thing I hope you take from this post, it is that your actions affect so many, especially those close. People with this disease can not see this, can't understand that the few moments of being high, that little trip, are incomparable to the reprocussions that come from it. If you are addicted please get help. If you have ever tried any drugs, don't do it again, it isn't worth it. Do it for your mother.